The other day, like many of you probably have done as well, my bride and I were binge watching Christmas movies, and lo and behold, here comes ole Kevin McCalister learning the hard way to be careful what he wishes for. Now I’ve seen these movies a few times a year since they came out back in the 90s, and sure enough, they always seem to drop some pretty major life changing truths buried among the chaos that ensues as Kevin finds himself left behind while the family went to Paris one year, followed by the perfect storm of unfortunate events that lands him all alone in New York City the next!

I know life's crazy out there. We’re mere hours away from Christmas Day and some of you haven’t even gotten the first gift, some are desperate to see their families while others wish theirs would vanish, some are facing unimaginable grief while others are scraping pennies together just to get a warm meal. I saw a post the other day that said “We’re just a few days away from Christmas and I’ve never felt less 'Christmasy' in all my life.” Whatever your situation is, whether good, bad, or anywhere in between, as the majority of our country plunges into the depths of some pretty gnarly freezing temps, let’s look at 10 things that we can learn from little ole Kevin.

Within the opening scenes of both movies, we see that families in the 90s have the same issues we have today. We are just BUSY. While there's nothing wrong with having a lot of things to do, there is something to be said about how most of us feel around this time of year. Knock out a couple to-dos, and out of nowhere, five more how up on the list. CRAP! I forgot to get that gift for Aunt Sally, time to go to Target. Hey...can you cook this or bring that or come here or go there. I get it, trust me, I do. One trip down Youree Drive in Shreveport this week will force you to slow down, while simultaneously exponentially increasing your stress, anxiety, and anger. So, I seriously wonder what might happen if we sat down for a sec, look around, take stock of everything, and let some stuff fall of the list of things to do and places to be. We might just find that the truly valuable things are being drowned out by the not-so-necessary things.

Poor Kevin learned this the hard way...twice. In fact, I don't think it would have taken me NEAR as long as it did him to begin missing my mama (Not ashamed to say that I was a mama's boy.) Whether we are running around like crazy folks and running right past the people around us or we can totally identify with Kevin when he said "I don't want to see any of you people for the rest of my life"...for some reason, truly connecting with those around us tends to take a back seat in this season. Maybe it's the rat race in point 1, maybe it's our own emotional trauma we're carrying, maybe it's something else, but whatever the reason, ask yourself what it's going to take to put that smile on your face that Kevin had on his when his mama walked back through the front door at the end of the movie. In that moment, nothing else mattered, and they BOTH realized that none of the drama and none of the hurt feelings were worth sacrificing the people we love.

We all probably know a Buzz...and we all probably know an Uncle Frank. While Kevin definitely was a little brat, his big brother did absolutely nothing to help the situations. Truth is, he instigated the situations...and then exploited them. Then there's the Uncle. If I had a brother who treated my kid like he treated Kevin, even as annoying as Kevin was, me and my brother would be having words for sure. While the antagonists of the movies were obviously and overwhelmingly Harry and Marv, both of these clowns did their fair share of antagonizing. If you want to truly experience Christmas this year, don't be these guys. Cause guess what, you might think you're cute and you might think you're funny, but everybody around you, especially the target of your picking, wants to push you down a flight of frozen over stairs. I do, however, still wonder what a trout sniffer is.

One of the first interactions we see between too cool big brother Buzz and annoying little brother Kevin is when Buzz is filling Kevin's sponge of a mind with complete bull about their neighbor, Old Man Marley. (Now, I'm not gonna lie, dude might creep me out too if I was 8 years old, but still.) From this moment, Kevin's mind is made up, and he is terrified of the guy. But why? Cause someone lied. Fast forward toward the end, after Kevin has now ran away from him at least twice, and they are sitting together on a church pew as O Holy Night rings out through the halls. You probably know what happens next. Who is the Old Man Marley around you? Who's the person who everybody has all but given up on? You hold some pretty amazing power in your hands, if you catch my drift. I've been both the Old Man Marley and Kevin in this situation. I desperately needed someone to just believe that there was something inside of me that was valuable. I also have one of my closest friends right now that I know without a shadow of a doubt gave every person he came in contact with every single reason they ever needed to write him off. Someone around you needs you to press in, get to know them, be patient with them, and pull out that good that is buried deep down inside under the stony, cold heart that this cruel world has left behind.

Kevin wasn't too good at the first impression. I mean, come on, he screamed in the face of his neighbor on the sidewalk, and as he is walking through Central Park, he once again screams in the face of the nice lady with the pet Pigeon. Okay, you're right, there was more than one pigeon. Anyways, fast forward a little and you find that she actually helps Kevin when his foot gets stuck, and then they find themselves having a good ole heart-to-heart...this time in the attic of an old theatre as the choir sings below. Just like Kevin did with Old Man Marley, he now helps her shift her long-held perspective. He saw past the pigeon poop and past the homeless stench, straight into the heart of a kind, caring, hurt soul. He saw her. What she brought to the table didn't matter. What she could do for him was never even in question. He was moved with compassion, and without even realizing it, benefitted just as much as she did from their interactions. Who around you right now just needs to know that they are seen?

There is a lot of harsh words spoken and a lot of feelings being trampled on throughout these movies, but what I love is the fact that in the end (and yes, I know it's a movie) all is well. You see it with Kevin and his family on both occasions...and you see it with Old Man Marley and his son. While we may share the concerns of Kevins old creepy neighbor, we really won't know how someone will react until we take the initiative to make the phone call to make what is wrong, right again. Don't hear me say what I am not saying, I am a major proponent of boundaries...big, healthy, strong ones...boundaries so solid that the toxic person can't even begin to budge. I'm not talking about that person in your life that is, for good reason, on the other side of your boundaries. I'm talking about the fight you had with your wife...the coworker you know you treated like crap...the family member or friend you had words with that you haven't spoken to in years...the person that unintentionally hurt you...the list goes on and on and on. Relationships are messy. Marriage is messy. Friendships are messy. Kids, messy. Parents, messy. Coworkers, messy. Neighbors, messy. Forget about who hurt who...if there is no good reason for a healthy boundary, then make the phone call and make it right.

If you look at society, you will see the term diffusion of responsibility in real time. It refers to the fact that as the number of bystanders increases, the personal responsibility that an individual bystander feels decreases. As a consequence, so does his or her tendency to help. In other words, this is why there can be 40 witnesses to one crime and nobody does anything. Why? Because they all thought that someone else would do it. When everybody was rushing around the house in a mad dash to the airport, no one took the initiative to make dang sure everybody was there. So what happened? Kevin went unnoticed. Fast forward to the crowded airport when mom is franticly trying to get a flight from Scranton to Chicago. People EVERYWHERE. Finally, one dude sheepishly steps in, offering to help. Be that guy! Be the polka band guy! When we see a need, if we have the MEANS to meet it, I believe we now have the RESPONSIBILITY to meet it. That fella who is sitting in his dorm room might not get invited to anyone's house for Christmas because everybody else might think someone else invited him. Whether it's making sure the newest troop has somewhere to go or it's taking the initiative to take out the overflowing bag of trash, if you want Christmas to be awesome, have this mindset: See the need, meet the need.

This family made mistakes. Big ones. I mean, who leaves their kid at home...twice? They're always in a hurry. They oversleep a lot! They don't tip well. Even poor Fuller gets smashed between the wall and his dad's chair. What happens, though, immediately after the famous KEVIN heard round the world from an airplane? They immediately start working to fix the problem. Now, that goes without saying...every parent in their right mind would. What I want to point out particularly is this: They didn't blame each other, they didn't fight over who was more irresponsible, and they didn't sit and sulk in their self pity. They messed up, royally, and they owned their mess up. Then they leapt into action to get it resolved. Here's the deal, before this weekend is over, you're going to mess something up. While I pray we all keep our kids close to us, I also know that we're all pretty good at making a mess of anything we get our hands on. Want to guard this holiday season against unnecessary stress and heartache? Here's three steps to do (As our buddy Buzz would say) 1. Make a mess. 2. Own it. C. Fix it. And try to see just how little time can go by between the first and last step.

My man Kevin had a special way about him to remain calm, for the most part, at least. Yeah I'm sure the thought of going up against two grown men breaking into his house made him a smidge nervous, just as the "Hiya Pal" from Marv on the streets of NYC probably struck fear in his heart. You have to admit, though, in situations that would paralyze most of us with fear, he remained cool and collected, exploring the unknown and executing his plans with greatness. So, whether you're facing new challenges such as being an 8 year old grocery shopper, holding your ground while a nosey concierge rummages through your overpriced hotel room, or making the folks who broke into your house regret even turning down your street...if you take a moment to breathe in the calm, you can face it with the needed wisdom and composure that you didn't even you had.

Finally, Mama wasn't afraid to ask for what she needed. She was desperate. Now, I don't recommend offering to sell your soul to the devil himself like she did, but desperate times do call for desperate measures. Many times, however, we will do whatever it takes to NOT have to do the one thing that might just be the best thing in the long run. For reasons all to familiar to us, from fear of rejection to good old fashioned pride, we fail to voice our need to those who might can do something about it. We we're not put on this planet to go through this life alone. We are a communal people, and you might just have the solution to my problem, and i just might have the solution to yours. If you are facing something right now that is creating stress in your life and you're not asking for help, then that means you are robbing both yourself of help and someone else of giving that help. So, slow down, look at the awesome folks around you, be a nice human, believe in someone, see that person who everyone else overlooks, make things right, own your responsibility, fix what's broken, remain calm, and let someone help ya out!

Merry Christmas ya filthy animals!
-Trey