Cry of the Broken
I got a late night text from a friend of mine and it simply said “I’m just getting hit from every side man. I promise someone has cursed me.”
Here’s another one… “How do people make it through crap like this?”
And another…. “Wonder what God is doing.”
And another… “When does the ‘it gets easier’ part come?”
And another… “It’s all bullshit but I’m trying not to blow a fuse.”
And just one more… “I got hammered last night and now I’m recouping.”
Ok, this is the last one… “Go listen to ‘insert song here’ if you really want to know how I feel.”
I’ve heard all of these, and I’m quite sure I’ve said all of them, too. I remember all too well saying that last one to my wife when I just couldn’t find the words to express the depths of the depression I was in. The lyrics to the song Worn by Tenth Avenue North did a good enough job of hitting the nail on the head.
Here’s the deal, all of these very real and very raw statements/questions are our heart’s way of crying out, even when our brains can’t muster up the right words.
But what are we crying out for?!
- The help we don’t even realize we need?
- Just to be seen and understood?
- To know that we’re not alone?
- To just get an ounce of the pain out?
- Answers? Relief?
- A time machine to go back? Or skip forward?
- All of the above?
Yes. The short answer is simply YES. In the moments of our brokenness, our hearts are crying out for healing. That’s why we ask the tough questions about a God we may or may not even believe in. It’s why four letter words fly around like a hornets nest that just got kicked. It’s why we lash out. It’s why we recluse. It’s why we sometimes cope in unhealthy but understandable ways. It’s why we can admit those ways, too. Our broken, hurting hearts are in their own state of “fight or flight” and the thought of tomorrow only looks darker, exponentially adding to our growing turmoil that we don’t even know how to begin to unwind.
Here’s the deal. You’re doing the right thing.
What? Questioning God is right? Begging for answers is right? Admitting you got hammered is right? Making up curse words cause the ones we have don’t seem to do the situation justice? How is any of this “right”?
Let me get very practical. I literally copied all of those statements at the beginning from text messages on my phone. Why is that fact important? I’m glad you asked.
It’s important because even over a text message, someone allowed themselves to cry. No, not necessarily tears. They allowed their heart to cry. They allowed their brokenness to have a voice. And whatever that voice needed to say, they told someone (me in these cases).
Did healing happen in that moment? Did the wound go away? Problem get solved? Mistake suddenly disappear? No, not even close. But…(remember that if you see the word but in a sentence, it usually negates everything you just said!) BUT…
- They started.
- They felt it.
- They acknowledged.
- They admitted.
- They were brave.
- They let someone in.
- They put pain in its place.
- They were honest.
- They began to realize that they can fight.
- They got it out.
- They gained confidence, even if it was microscopic amount.
- They allowed the trauma wired brain to begin processing.
- They found help.
- They found love.
- They found support.
They took the first step…and what do know about first steps? They are always the hardest ones to take.
And now…days and weeks and even years on the other side of their broken cries…well…that’s another blog for another day. But, for now, just start…