Redistributed

Trey McGuire

You, my friend, are carrying a lot of weight.

There was a day when the weight of life was heavy for me and:
I was pissed off at the world.
I would yell.
I would punch walls.
I took out my anger on my wife.
I wanted to end my life.

I didn’t know how to deal with the weight.

I was angry.
I felt alone.
I battled depression.
I questioned everything and everybody.
I was suicidal.

People would try to help me but:
I would make excuses.
I would deny the obvious.
I would avoid.
I would slap on a fake smile.
I would feel as if something was wrong with me cause I couldn’t handle it.

Faking it didn’t help.
Alcohol didn’t help.
Getting what I wanted didn’t help.
Status, money, pride, none of that helped.
Being in church every time the doors were open didn’t even help.

I learned one simple truth that made the difference...
I WAS NOT ALONE.

Like, legitimately, there were a few people that God used who saw right through it all and they pressed in and made sure that the words “I got your back no matter what” came alive. And the vulnerability on my end that came with that was what redistributed the weight I carried...the weight didn’t change...but my wife carried it with me, my best friend carried it with me, my boss carried some, a couple coworkers grabbed a little, and even a few strangers that became trusted confidants carried some. They all let me be me and simply showed that they weren’t going anywhere, no matter how ugly I got. The more vulnerable I got with my weight I carried, the more they pressed in...which is exactly the opposite of what we think will happen. They didn’t let me sit there, yes they carried the weight with me but they also pressed me to be the man they knew I could be.

Today, whatever weight you’re carrying, know this, someone around you has your back. Let them carry that weight with you like you have done or will do for them. You are loved.

-Trey