You're Being Lied To pt 7: The Impacts are Too Great

Hey Warrior...

Let's face it. We all blow it at some point in time. And by blow it, I mean, we all drop the ball, fail miserably, humiliate ourselves (and those around us), make boneheaded mistakes, allow ourselves to fall into bad habits, and/or make conscious horrific decisions...you get the idea.

WE ALL DO, HAVE, AND WILL.

Immediately, we're hit with shame, guilt, behavior modification efforts, worry, fear, humiliation, etc. So much emotion. So many overwhelming feelings. In this time, we find ourselves in defense mode, trying desperately to attain self-preservation. And then there it is, the mountain, and it didn't show up alone. It brought with it the entire dang mountain range. You see it clearly. I'm standing in the middle of the Garden of the Gods looking west toward Pikes Peak and its 14,115ft summit...and right behind it is all of Pike's Peak's friends...the entire Front Range of the Rocky Mountains. I can not deal with this. I can't get over it. I can't get around it. I can't change it.

I'm not going to sit here and tell you that these feelings are not real or justified. Emotion does a lot of things, and the emotion associated with our failures is very real. How we respond to this emotion, though, is the key.

Part of the reason we see the mountains of moving forward as so unnavigable is because we see that we have caused so much damage or that the impacts of what we need to do to deal with it are so unknown.

Here are three lies we believe.

They will never forgive me. Well, truth is, they may not, but that does not negate the fact that you must forgive yourself and you deserve to heal, change, and grow. Then again, they may forgive you. It may not be the same, but if you don't move, you will never know, and you will never experience what very well may be a different, yet equally good, relationship.

This will impact my career. Truth is, it might. That's a hard pill to swallow. I know the military culture is trying desperately to change this. But if we're being honest, there just may be impacts. Here's the truth...if you're dealing with something that demands you get help "that may impact your career", hear me when I say this: IT'S WORTH IT. Your mental health is not worth you having some status, some career, some whatever. Fighting another day. Even fighting to stay alive. That fight is something you deserve, and something that will have ripple effects. Those ripple effects, while some may be negative, will have more positive in the long run.

I can't recover from this. I'm going to call that like I see it...complete bulls%$#. If you don't believe me, look at me then. Ask me. Let me tell you my story...and if that's not enough, let me tell you other's story. And then, let me believe in you. Here's the truth that silences this lie: Recovery is possible. Yes, it may feel like you're passing a quarter sized kidney stone, but it is possible. Here's the thing, you ain't passing that kidney stone on your own. But the urologist can bust it up or even surgically remove it. Get the idea here? It's called HELP. You can recover, it's just going to take help. And, you know what, there are folks out there who want to help you...and they are closer than you think.

JOURNAL: Hit the "Take a Note" button on this page and write out your thoughts and use these questions as a guide.

+ What do I feel after reading this?

+ What can I do about it?